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And Then There Was Poop!

We both wake up this morning to Sydney demanding us to 'GET UP!' (yeah, cute), anyway so I immediately hop in the shower. I come out and Sydney is still in her pajama's which is no big deal, however I think for a split second and say to my husband 'have you changed her yet?' - of course the answer is 'no'. I mean really, what did I expect it to be, that's my own stupidity. So I go get a pull-up ... oh no no, she's not potty trained, just wants pull ups because other little girls where them ... and proceed to change the pee pee feast. Now let me pause here because what would be the big deal if it was just pee right? *Pause* *Pause* *Pause* ... and we're back ...... so I pull off the pull up and baby rabbit turds come flying out onto the floor. I moan in disgust. I take the diaper and the said rabbit turds and put them in a little trash bag and throw them out. I get some wipes to wipe her butt but wait, what's this? A pull-up is already on? Oh joy! No wiping for me!!!! - Wait ... nope, this is not going to go the way I think it is ... I must ask 'Jay, did you wipe her butt or just put a pull up on?' (surely no one is this stupid) - 'I just put the pull up on.' 'BUT SHE POOPED' 'but it was just little rabbit turds' (ROLLING MY EYES AT THIS POINT) 'Oh geez' 'What did you say?' - 'I said 'OH GEEZ'!' and then I wiped her butt.

No seriously, I must ask ... if someone poops, no matter how little, esp a toddler, is it now decided that we actually can just let that one go and not wipe?!  I did not get the memo on that one so please someone send it
to me so I can be in the loop too of this no wiping thing. 



I go to Wal-Mart Saturday night at around 8:30, please note that I loathe Corporate Wal-Mart so I'm already a hypocrite - I have on a regular T-Shirt and regular shorts - NO BIG DEAL - I only get to the vitamin aisle when this Hispanic man has decided that I am eye candy for his current viewing - I go to the next aisle and who is there? Why it's my new friend! One more aisle ... note that I'm about to loose it at this point ... I'm tired and I hate Wal-Mart and I have Mr. Creepy following me ... one more aisle and I just don't know what is going to fall out of my mouth ... I go to the next aisle ... and THERE. HE. IS.  . - he is staring me down or should I say 'staring my chest down', I mean ... extremely obvious ... not in my head kind of thing. So I look at him ... pissed at this point ... with a look of disgust on my face and say ... 'Are you kidding me? Are you f**king kidding me with this f**king shit? Seriously? No, really f**king seriously?????' 'WTF is wrong with you? No, really, I want to know what the f**k is wrong with you?' - 'THEY ARE F**KING TITS, MOVE ON!' - He mumbled something in Spanish .. I make an a$$ out of myself and continue shopping!
Please note before the dumb question is asked - they are full C's and yes, for god's sake, I had a damn bra on!
I look at girl's tit's ALL THE TIME but I don't following them around and see how obvious I can be!


*Please note that this is to show what a 2 year old I am and not anything against Mr. Creepy*

Why Birth Control Was Invented ...

Part I

'Sydney, did you poop??'
'No'
'Are you sure?'
'No poop'
'So if I checked your pull-up then there isn't going to be any poop in there?'
'Right, no poop'
Check Pull-Up
'Sydney, there is poop in there'
'Nope, it's a turd'
'Same thing'
'No it's not, it's a baby turd not poop'

Part II

'God Sydney, did you poop again?! You freaking stink!!'
'No poop'
'Oh dear god, (roll eyes here) fine, do you have a baby turd then'
'No baby turd'
Check pull-up
'Jesus Christ Sydney that is disgusting!'
Smiling 'Yep, baby poop'
'I asked you if you pooped'
'No poop, just baby poop'
'Oh, for the love of ... '

Shit proceeds to fall out of the diaper, onto the rug .. on my finger (gagging at this point) ... hanging from her butt ... on her shirt I throw her into the tub, cussing under my breath, it's just so freaking gross that I have to take the towel and put it against my face so I can scream at the
top of my lungs. 

Nightside the Long Sun, Gene Wolfe

"Silk stared at him, rubbed his wrist, and a last spat at the old man's feet. 'You cheated. You said I couldn't hit with my stick, but you hit me with yours.'

'I did! Oh, Yes!' The old man flung it into the air and parried it as it fell. 'But aren't I sorry? Isn't my heart torn? Overflowing with remorse? Oh, it is, it is! I weep! Where would you like to be buried?'"

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Page 310
"Go ahead, adopt an ape, it sounds like fun, a chimpanzee or maybe even an arangutan, but be prepared to justify your decision when he eats your neighbor's begonias. By all means, have a baby, you deserve a descendant, but stand ready to defend your parenting skills when he grows up to become a serial killer. Mais oui, acquire a belief in God, theism is a popular and comforting lifestyle, but first do your homework, learning how the world's great minds have explained the Creator's seeming indifference to human suffering, lest you waste your time fretting about tsunamis and cystic fibrosis."

Page 401
"The real reason Charles Darwin distresses people, I would argue, is not that he stumbled on an argument against theism. No, the problem was that he replaced theism -- replace it with a construct more beautiful and majestic than any account of the Supreme Being out side the Book of Job, a construct that invites us to see every variety of life, from aphids to archbishops, zygotes to zoologists, as vibrant threads in an epic tapestry, its warp and woof stretching across the eons and back to the Precambrian ooze, the seminal sea-vents, the primordial clay-pits, or wherever it all began. An astonishing construct, a mind-boggling construct, a construct of which Jehovah is understandably and insanely jealous."

Pirate Freedom, Gene Wolfe

Page 58

“In a minute I’m going to tell about pirates, but there is not any real difference between pirates and wise guys. One is at sea and the other is in cities. A big part of it is money, and money is just another way of saying freedom. If you have money, you can do pretty much whatever you want to do. (If you do not believe me, look at the people who have it.) You eat what you want to eat and you drink when you want to drink. Can have two or three women at the same time, if that is what you want. You can sleep late if you want to, and you do not have to work. If you want fifteen suits, you can have fifteen suits, and you can travel if that’s what you want. If you like a certain kind of work, you can do it. But nobody can make you.”

Page 76

“We would go where I said to go, and anybody who did not like it would have a long swim. There was no novice master to worry about, and no feds. Just about everybody on earth was chained up, even if they could not see their chains, but I was not. I could breathe in a way most people never get to breathe. I stayed at the wheel like that for the whole watch, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it was.”

Page 99

“Two things saved us. The first was that the crew was not armed. After that I asked about it, talking to a guy who had been in the French Navy and later to Capt. Burt, who had been in the British. Both navies were so scared of their own men that they kept all the weapons locked up and did not issue them until they thought their men might need them
The Spanish were the same way—more scared of their own crew that they had been of us. Most of the soldiers had gone ashore, and some of the sailors had, too. The only men on board who had swords, pistols, or anything like that were the officers and a couple of soldiers. My father told me one time that a good lawyer means a lawyer who is more scared of you that he is of the cops, and it seems to me that if somebody is more scared of his own men than he is of the enemy, he ought to go home and go to law school.”

Page 108

“I have fought quite a bit in my life. I do not think I am a real good fighter, only pretty fair one. Just the same, I have learned two big things about fighting and I will pass them along. The first one is that if you rush somebody you have to make good on it. Rushing works best when the man you are fighting does not expect it. If he knows you are coming, maybe you better think of something else.

The second one is even more important. It is that if everybody knows you are a good fighter, you do not have to do it much. People who go around picking fights do not want to lose them. It means that every fight you have is more important than it looks. You want to win it, and you want to tear the other guy up so everybody knows who won and there is no doubt about it. Never listen to guys who talk about fighting fair. Half the time they are just trying to time one hand behind you. If you box or play cards or shoot dice, you ought to play fair. Those are games. A fight is not a game.”

Page 147

“The night sky was as clear a s crystal, and there was no moon. I looked out into the vast universe, saluting suns and families of suns far away, and watched the planets creep among them—bloody Mars, and Venus radian and pure in her robe of cloud. For the first time in my life I really understood that I rode a planet like those, that Earth and I were swinging through the dark vault even when we smiled in the sunlight. All my life I had thought of Heaven as a vague place far away, a mysterious land outside the universe where God sits a golden throne. That night I realized that Heaven is not far away at all—that Heaven is wherever God is, and that God is everywhere. That every human soul is His throne room.

Hell is right here, too.”

Page 251

“It is a mortal sin to take your own life. I know that, and it was one of the things the monks pounded home to us—do not kill yourself so that your soul can be with God. It will not. You are not free to reject His gift of life.”

World War Z, by Max Brooks

"...Americans worship technology. it's an inherent trait in the national zeitgeist. Whether we realize it or not, even the most indefatigable Luddite can't deny our country's techno-prowess. We split the atom, we reached the moon, we've filled every household and business with more gadgets and gizmos than early sci-fi writers could have ever dreamed of. I don't know if that's a good thing, I'm in no place to judge. But I do know that just like all those ex-atheists in foxholes, most Americans were still parying for the God of science to save them." pg 166. 

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"The book of war, the one we've been writing since one ape slapped another was completely useless in this situation. We had to write a new one from scratch.

All armies, be they mechanized or mountain guerrilla, have to abide by three basic restrictions: they have to be bred, fed, and led:. Bred: you need warm bodies, or else you don't have an army; fed: once they've got to be supplied; and led: no matter how decentralized that fighting force is, there has to be someone among them with the authority to say "follow me."  pg. 271

"You can blame the politicians, the business men, the generals, the "machine," but really, if you're looking ot blame someone, blame me. I'm the american system, I'm the machine, that's the price of living in a democracy; we all gatta take the rap, ...Nice to be able to say, "Hey, don't look at me, it's not my fault." Well, it is. It is my fault, and the fault of everyone of my generation." pg 334

"...so we have each of us in the dustiest cellars of our minds a counter at which we strive to repay the debts of the past with the debased currency of the present." pg 66

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"'A dog is born a dog and a bird is born a bird, but to become a human being is an achievement--you have to think about it. You have been thinking about it for the past three or four years at least, little Severian, even though you may never have thought about the thinking.'

'A dog just looks for things to eat,' the boy said.

'Exactly. But that raises the question of whether a person should be forced to do such thinking, and some people decided a long time ago that he should not. We may force a dog, sometimes, to act like a man--to walk on his hind legs and wear a collar and so forth. But we shouldn't and couldn't force a man to act like a man. Did youu ever want to fall asleep? When you weren't sleepy or even tired?'

He nodded.

'That was because you wanted ot put down the burden of being a boy, at least for a time. Sometimes I drink too much wine, and that is because for a while I would like to stop being a man. Sometimes people take their own lives for that reason. Did you konw that?'

'or thay do thins that might hurt them,' he said...

'Yes,' I told him. 'That can be the same thing. And sometimes certain men, and even women, come to hate the burden of thought, but without loving death. They see the animals and wish to become as they are, aswering only to instinct, and not thinking.'" pg 97

"'...until I saw the boats and the rounded curves of the thatched roofs of the village I had not known how solitary I had been...It was more than mere loneliness, I think. I have never had much need for companionship, unless it was the companionship of someone I could call a friend. Certainly I have seldom wished the conversation of starangers or the sight of strange faces. I believe rather that when I was alone I felt I had in some fashion lost my individuallity; to the thrush and the rabbit I had been not Severian, but Man. The many people who like to be utterly alone, and particularly to be utterly alone in a wilderness, do so, I believe, because they enjoy playing that part. But I wanted to be a particular person again, and so I sought the mirror of other persons, which would show me that I was not as they were.'" pg 150

"'Do you know what the trouble was with the bad uncle? With Gundulf?'

'I supose that he was in love.'

'No, that was what was right with him. Every person, you see, is like a plant. There is a beautiful green part, often with flowers or fruit, that grows upward toward the usn, toward the increate. There is also a dark part that grows away form it, tunneling where no light comes.'

I said, " I have nenver studied the wrtitings of the initiates, but even I am aware of the existence of good and evil in everyone.'

'Was I speaking of good and evil? It is the roots that give the plant the strength to climb toward the sun, thought they know nothing of it. Suppose that some scythe, whistling along the ground, should sever the stalk from it's roots. The stalk would fall and die, but the roots might put up a new stalk.'


'You are saying that evil is good.'

'No. I am saying that the things we love in others and admire in ourselves spring from things we do not see and seldom think about.'" pg 240

"There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity." pg 327

Osip Mandelstam:

Into the distandce disappear the mounds of human heads.
I dwindle--go unnoticed now.
But in affectionate books, in children's games,
I will rise frim the dead to say: the sun!

Tags:

Well, the bike didn't kill me but aspiration pneumonia almost did. Just out of the hospital. Some advise--keep your veins in good condition cause it's no fun being some half-witted RNA's practice pin-cushion.

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